An alternative guide to loans

As any parent will know, the second hardest routine situation to deal with comes at the end of a hard day when all physical and emotional barriers are down. It is the 'I don't want to go to bed' conversation.

For non-parents, it goes something like this:

'It's time for bed.'

'I don't want to go to bed.'

'Go to bed.'

'I don't want to go to bed. And, do you know what dad?'

'What's that, darling?'

'I hate you!'

Now, that's the second hardest.

The first hardest is the 'I want it' conversation, usually performed - for it is performance artistry of tragic Shakespearean proportions - in public. In shops. And the performance will either culminate in a tantrum, simulated death or a mutual compromise otherwise known as 'giving in'.

'All right, have it! I just find it a little unusual that a three year old needs, or even likes, mature gorgonzola wrapped in vine leaves, soaked in chilli-based balsamic vinegar. That's all. But hey. Have it!'

Adults don't have this problem. It's not that adults have lost the desire for the unattainable. Adults can have whatever they like whenever they want it. Adults have loans.

Managed carefully, loans can be wonderful things. They allow entire economies to remain buoyant by allowing you to buy things that otherwise you could not afford.

Things like big-screen TVs, four-wheel-drive cars and telescopes. Things that without which we'd drag ourselves through our sorry lives with a huge vacuum - not to be confused with the huge wet 'n' dry vacuum cleaner we'd be able to buy if only we could borrow another few hundred quid.

If you are tempted by the lure of the loan, there are a couple of things to remember.

1. You will have to pay it back.

2. You will have to pay more back than the amount you borrowed because you will be charged interest.

Interest. Did you know, interest is called interest because it is interesting?

Well no not really. But a word of warning about interest. At the marine-world end of the money-lending spectrum is a vast shoal of scavengers who will lend you £100 and expect you to pay back anything up to one hundred million pounds. If you borrow money from these people, or sharks as they are often rather kindly referred to, and fail to maintain the inflated repayments, they will bite off your legs and face.

And no matter how big your TV screen is, it's very hard to see the picture if you don't have a face.

The best way to avoid dealing with these sharks is, obviously, not to borrow money in the first place. Certainly never take out a loan for anything your child insists they want while out shopping. It has, I'm sure, been clinically proven somewhere that they really don't like chilli-laced vine-wrapped cheese anyway.

The second best way to avoid swimming with sharks is to use to use a comparison tool such as the one on This Is Money.

Now, before anyone writes in, I am not for one minute suggesting that anyone takes out a loan for the sake of. Far from it. If you think that's the case then go back to the top of this page and read again with your irony radar switched on. (Congratulations for getting this far by the way).

But if you have woken up in 2006 with a financial hangover and you are considering a loan, far better to use a comparison tool such as the one on this site than a backstreet lender or even your own bank, which is no doubt bombarding your letterbox with apparently great offers. There's absolutely no obligation, you can simply use the tool for research.

If your financial hangover is such that you are worried about the level of your debts, please visit our Dealing with debt section for sensible help and advice and sort yourself out before it's too late.

And for those people happily living within your means and happy with the size of your TV why not check out our digital TV finder? Remember, in a few year's time if you haven't got digital you won't have television at all - and your children really will have something to moan about.

Richard Browning, This is Money

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Comments

[John]

I didn't know approving for a load was this easier.

[gelfey]

Really nice information, I like the spirit.
It is not only beneficial for online as well as people who are seeking information about debt and loans.

[Tim Sowter]

Speaking as someone who did write in, (hopefully not too many people did follow the Christmas money saving tips and take out a loan because they just had to take their kids to lapland and buy them reeboks!) Can I say this makes a lot of sense, and yes the irony radar is functioning perfectly. Having said that I would prefer to have a sensible car I have paid for than borrow money for a 4x4

cheers

[Stephen Marchant]

This need to satisfy consumer (i.e. ourselves & family) demand is the biggest problem we face. It is up to the Government to set a strategy that shifts spending from personal consumption to investment for all our futures.

With a record balance of payments deficit and spiralling private and public debt the Chancellor is vainly playing with statistics and trying to squeeze evermore tax out of a failing economy - 'Nero fiddles whilst Rome burns'.

What a brilliant piece - Richard Browning, you should have a column called "The Browning Version".