MATCH OF TODAY

David Cameron v Ed Miliband
Ground: Prime Minister’s Questions
Kickoff: 12 noon

He stood at the penalty spot, an open goal before him, the crowd silent . . .  and Miliband blew it, the ball spinning harmlessly into the undergrowth.
“We read in the newspapers today,” began Labour’s leader, referring to the sentencing U-turn.  Cameron scoffed: “Do something more useful than just read the newspapers,”
Ed tried again: “He’s in a total mess.” Cameron quoted the shadow justice secretary, backing Ken Clarke’s plans. Miliband hurriedly turned to the NHS, earning jeers of “bandwagon jumping”. Labour MPs sagged, memories of Neil Kinnock and Westland in the air.

Score: Cameron 3.  Miliband 1