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Balls hits back over Tourette's jibe

Ed Balls has just been on the radio, making some comments that are raising a few eyebrows in Westminster.

The shadow chancellor, David Cameron's irritator-in-chief, was hitting back at David Cameron over the accusation he behaves like "someone with Tourette's" during PMQs. (The Prime Minister apologised after making the comments, sparked by his annoyance at Balls' endless hand gestures and frontbench barracking).

Condemning it as "offensive" - though insisting it hadn't hurt him - Balls painted himself as whiter-than-white in the political arena.

Balls said: “I think people want an opposition which takes the argument to the Government, and sometimes David Cameron gives the impression that he deserves to be there and nobody deserves to criticise his views and his policies.

“And he obviously attempts, whether it’s women who he patronises, or me who makes offensive comments about - which don’t offend me but did offend many people up and down the country suffering from Tourette’s - I don’t think that’s the right way to do politics.

“I think you should debate not about smear but about policy.”

Vowing to continue criticising the Government’s “failing” policies, he went on: “I will do that in a direct, clear, honest and open way, but I’m not going to say offensive things about David Cameron or anyone else.”

This from a man who has a reputation as a street fighter, both inside Labour and when taking on the opposition. He even appeared in a video game after Alistair Darling said the "forces of hell" had been unleashed against him.

It's worth noting he dismissed the idea his robust style turns voters off during the World and One interview, so don't expect him to change. PMQs would be duller if he did...

Craig Woodhouse
Follow me on Twitter @craigawoodhouse

"Tin ear" Bercow sparks fresh Tory row

It's been a while since we had some decent Tory anger against Speaker John Bercow, but with Christmas looming large today's PMQs delivered a gift.

Towards the end of the Cameron-Miliband exchanges, Bercow leapt to his feet to correct the PM for the use of "you". As noise raged, he turned to his right - towards the naughty corner - and said "I'm glad the Minister of State has returned from his travels and we wish him a Merry Christmas but in his case it should be a quiet one". (It's at 10m33s here).

Mr Speaker appeared to be aiming his comments at Health Minister Simon Burns - who famously branded Bercow a "stupid, sanctimonious dwarf" - whose colleagues leapt to his defence. Foreign Office Minister Keith Simpson gestured at Bercow to sit down, and could be seen mouthing "stupid man", while others patted Burns on the shoulder.

After the session, Simpson insisted Burns - a "serial offender" - wasn't to blame this time as he launched an attack on the Speaker.

"I do not have any time for the man. He has got a tin ear. He doesn't know when to intervene or not," he said.

"He comes out with these appalling cliches (about the noise), all this business about 'the public don't like it, I don't like it', but I'm pretty sure my 88-year-old mother is sitting in front of the TV screaming that she does like it.

"(Burns) would happily take the rap but for once it wasn't him."

With a neat jibe at Chris Huhne, he went on: "He picked on old Burnsy, who tends to be a serial offender, but in fact it wasn't Burns - it was one of the younger lads standing to Burns's left. I said to him, it's like a man who is always speeding up and down the M11 and then gets caught when he is not driving. That's life. It's much easier to pick on a man who is a serial offender."

It will be interesting to see whether Simpson's frank words get him in trouble with Bercow. He did admit: "Every time the Speaker interferes and leaps up and down he tends to bring out the worst in me."

Simpson joins a growing list of Tory MPs (former colleagues, let's not forget) who have spoken out against the Speaker. Mark Pritchard accused him of acting like "f***ing royalty", Claire Perry asked whether she had to grant him oral sex to get called in debates, and both Nadine Dorries and Chief Whip Patrick McLoughlin have clashed with him.

Craig Woodhouse
Follow me on Twitter @craigawoodhouse

Match of Today - PMQs edition



David Cameron v Ed Miliband
Ground: Prime Minister’s Questions
Kickoff: 12 noon
Miliband finally lost the ball this week after nine days of top play. He started well enough, with a victory lap for his good calls of the past week. Wasn’t it “an insult to the [Dowler] family that Rebekah Brooks is still in her post”, he demanded. He called for the judge-led inquiry to be widened, knowing Cam would concede. But then the Labour leader lost his way by sifting the detail of what officials in Cameron’s office were told that Andy Coulson once hired a convicted criminal. It gave Cameron the opportunity to turn one of Red Ed’s favourite lines against him: “What the public wants us to do is address this firestorm,” declared the PM, posing as Man of the People to Miliband’s Man of the Guardian.
Throughout, Tory MPs cheered the PM too loudly. And when the Speaker called them to order an amazing display of disobedience took place.
The more he called for quiet the louder they became. “Order, order, order,” bellowed Mr Bercow getting more irate. Finally he turned on Children’s Minister Tim Loughton, saying: Try to calm down and behave like an adult - or if it’s beyond you leave the chamber, get out.”
But the Tories started laughing. “No, it is not funny,” warned the Speaker. “It’s disgraceful.”
It was a day when MPs united against a man they felt had bullied and dominated them for too long. And later they united against Rupert Murdoch, too.
Score: Cameron 3, Miliband 2

Match of Today - PMQs edition

David Cameron v Ed Miliband

Ground: Prime Minister’s Questions

Kickoff: 12 noon

Miliband was on red hot form. He scored a rapid hat trick by calling for an inquiry, demanding that Rebekah Brooks quit, and urging a “breathing space” in the BSkyB takeover.

Cameron partially recovered with some heavyweight rhetoric about the “absolutely disgusting” allegations and by promising some inquiries should be in public.

But the man in the red shirt scored a fourth time by lambasting the “catastrophic error of judgement” of Andy Coulson and snarling: “He hasn’t shown leadership today.”

Score: Cameron, 2. Miliband 4

 

Match of Today - PMQ edition

David Cameron v Ed Miliband
Ground: Prime Minister’s Questions
Kickoff: 12 noon

Miliband was crafty. He called Cameron “crass and high handed” for telling military leaders “I’ll do the talking”. Then he wrongfooted the PM on whether the DNA of suspected “rapists” should be kept or destroyed. Cameron racked his brain for details and was jeered for taking whispered lessons from  Theresa May. “At least we talk to each other,” quipped Cam, who counter-attacked over a shadow cabinet split on Ed Balls’s £51 billion VAT cut. Alas, it failed when Speaker Bercow brusquely silenced the out-of-order PM. Tories glowered at Bercow.

Score: Cameron, 1. Miliband 3.

Match of Today - PMQ edition

Match of Today

David Cameron v Ed Miliband
Ground: Prime Minister’s Questions
Kickoff: 12 noon

Miliband could not afford another missed penalty - and shied away from aiming at the big issues like the NHS reforms that Cameron was briefed to the eyeballs on. Did the PM know that the welfare reforms would “make 7000 cancer patients worse off by as much as £94 a week?”  Cameron said there had been no change to terminally ill patients - which was not the question. Red Ed crowed: “He doesn’t know what’s in his own Bill!” Cameron got cross and accused him of “a smokescreen” to cover his party splits on the wider reform issues. “Apologise!” cried Labour MPs. More heat than illumination. But honour was maintained for Miliband.

Score:  Cameron 2. Miliband 2

Match of Today - PMQs edition

David Cameron v Ed Miliband

Ground: Prime Minister’s Questions
Kick-off: 12 noon

Miliband took a risk by devoting all six questions to the breaking news that Ken Clarke does not think all “rape is rape”. He sounded nervous, as though relying on second-hand information - perish the thought. Cameron was unprepared but made a powerful point that 94 per cent of rapists get away. Miliband pressed home: “The Justice Secretary should not be in his post tonight.” The Labour leader’s gamble paid off, especially when it turned out later that Cameron had some belting lines on the NHS up his sleeve.

Score: Cameron 1, Miliband 2

Match of Today - PMQs edition

David Cameron v Ed Miliband
Ground: Prime Minister’s Questions
Kick-off: 12 noon
Cameron's spinners said he would drop his Flashman alter ego. But what we saw was not so much Tom Brown as Gordon Brown. He got caught up in demanding a Miliband apology for some NHS stats, while the Labour leader made hay with Andrew Lansley's NHS plans. "Where is the Health Secretary," taunted Red Ed, gleefully, spotting an empty space. "He’s been dumped on." Cameron made a desperate jibe about Miliband being "Eddie the Eagle" and seemed terribly upset about something. Miliband's coup de grace was a triumphant: "Calm down, dear."
Score: Cameron 1, Miliband 3

The Naughty Corner

Today's Prime Minister's Questions was a largely uninspiring affair, but it did feature a cracking line from Speaker John Bercow.

As excitable Tory MPs cheered David Cameron's vote-rallying parting shot at Ed Miliband, Children's Minister Tim Loughton clearly overstepped the line in the eyes of the Chair.

"Order," the Speaker shouted (at 08.48 here). "The Minister for Children is under no obligation to behave like a child - it's not required."

Mr Bercow has been criticised - not least by his own side, and in famously colouful language - for the way he handles the Commons but his intervention today had MPs rolling in the aisles.

I didn't spot what Mr Loughton was up to, but he was sat in what is becoming known among hacks who share my PMQs vantage point as "the naughty corner".

Tucked just out of the Speaker's vision (though obviously not today) on the very back bench, it is the favourite hangout for Tory junior ministers who enjoy a bit of mischief.

A favourite ruse comes whenever an Ulster MP rises to speak - they begin heckling with thick Northern Irish accents before giggling to themselves.

For now I'll stop short of naming names, but watch for future slapdowns from the Speaker. It may be that he's cottoned on and will pick them off one by one.

Perhaps some time in his famous Commons creche would be an appropriate punishment?

Craig Woodhouse
Follow me on Twitter @craigawoodhouse