There comes a point where repetition becomes incredibly tedious. The mothers amongst us tend to find it when the phrase "Put your shoes on please" has little or no effect, and then morphs in to "ShoesonshoesonshoesonshoesonshoesonPUTYOURDAMNSHOESONNOWORELSE!"
You wonder what went amiss first time round and why some things just go in one ear, and out the other. Or not even vaguely near the ear in the first place.
Remember this? The old trick of using LinkedIn as a means to an end? Once more this week I was the wary recipient of an 'invitation to connect' from someone who purported to have 'done business with me'. Someone whom I have never met, let alone heard their name. An individual, furthermore, who resides in a place where I have never even set foot. Solihull.
I deleted the invitation.
On Thursday afternoon, my office phone rang. The caller ID said 'Anonymous number', so my suspicions were already raised as I answered. The voice at the other end queried whether they were speaking with LCM - which I confirmed, it is my direct number after all - and then launched in to an accelerated monologue that went along the following lines:
"Hi this is Very Keen Recruitment Agent from Never Heard of Before Agency in Solihull (aha - the 'connection') and I have an amazing candidate that would be really great for your business and he has done so well recently and he has had the best results in terms of revenue generation for his current company and is very enthusiastic and would love to talk to you about opportunities to come and work for you and he has hit his targets consistently, in fact he has exceeded them, and is really hard-working and focused and a great asset to any company but especially yours and what positions are you currently looking to fill and would you like to meet with him, and, and ... yadda yadda yadda..."
I had switched off around the second 'and'. The monologue continued for two minutes. I know. I timed it.
When Very Keen Recruitment Agent finally paused for breath, I broke the news to her. There are no vacancies. None at all. And none on the horizon either. And I hung up.
Why? Because the VKRA had committed some cardinal sins. No queries about my own role. No questions about the business itself. No enquiry even about whether I was looking to recruit people, let alone open to having discussions about this with a total stranger.
Pertaining to 'know' me on the basis of having come across my profile in LinkedIn, does not give you a guaranteed win.
So, in the words of Lord Sugar: Very Keen Recruitment Agent, you're fired.